Talking to You

Hi, Quill.
Dull Sunday, isn't it? I've got no one to talk to. So here I am. Talking to you instead.

Sometimes, I really am happy to have you, Quill. Well, most of the time, actually. I mean, you always listen to my moans day in day out. And it's not as if you have any option, anyway. But, still, I appreciate you really much. Because I really don't want to bore people to death with the same old stories of mine. I reckon I have started to sound like a broken record lately. So, to save them from misery and boredom, I would rather keep it all inside and pour it out to you instead.

You know, Quill, I think I am just a total nuts, sometimes. Every day, I wake up with nothing in my head. Nothing planned ahead, you know. Nothing to look forward. It's always the same old routine. I think I've got to agree with Oprah when she says 'Routine kills passion'. And it's not like I have any passion to kill, anyway.

Quill, I really feel like going somewhere. Somewhere far from here. I'm tired of faking things. Of course I love what I am doing now, but it can get very suffocating at times. Of course I love my family, it's just I want to be somewhere afar. Maybe I need to be in different places to see things differently, you see. I know there is more to life than just what I am seeing now, Quill. There are more emotions than what I am feeling now. Alas, I know it perfectly well that being in a different places means nothing if I don't let go of this one thing in me. I know this is what has been straining and chaining my feet to the hard solid ground - and my busted heart, too. People say happiness is a place. But I will never find it around the atlas, for the place is in my own heart. I have to set my heart free from all the past memories for me to see the little pieces of happiness around me.

I know that time will eventually come, Quill, though I can't tell you exactly when. But I won't lose my faith, Quill. I know I will be there, all the places I have always wanted to be at, and to discover what life has got to offer. When I have finally set my heart free and be at these places, then maybe I will finally stumble upon a brand new happiness. A brand new me. A brand new life.

I won't lose faith.

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