Fly, Fly Away.

I've been living in a little bubble that I conjured up the first day I met you. Against the mighty wind, you have blown the bubble up to a bright, excellent rainbow, one after another. I have never seen so many colors in my life. For me, you have been a little blue bird on my shoulder - my guardian angel. You have constantly soared me up to the delightful vast sky when I am down and out. Fluttering your wings, you have always pulled me up when I am falling down and losing my faith. You have chirped merry songs to make my day worthwhile.

Besides you, I have not seen or heard anything else.

Indeed, your presence has turned me oblivious to the world around me - for you've been the perfect world for me. So perfect that I've completely forgotten that I've actually been in my own world with merely the memories of you for all these years. I've been living a surreal life, and yet I've been content. I've wanted to believe that I am perfectly happy this way, evading you with all my might but loving you as if you've been with me all along.

But after 6 years, I reckon it's time to let you go.

I know it won't be easy but it has to start somewhere. I can't no longer hold you in, for the more I keep clinging on the memories, the more my feeling grows fonder for you - and the more hurtful it is for me when I know it ain't going nowhere no matter how much I've loved you.

Dear you,

You might have not known this, but the day I first laid my eyes on you - it was the day you made me feel that I was finally worth something. I felt that feeling I didn't know before when you came into my life. Nothing else mattered, for all I could see was you. I felt those heartbeats whenever you were near me. You made me truly happy with your silly jokes and even sillier personality. Did you know you were the reason for everything that I did back in school?

Yet I know, there were times when all of these were a little too much for you. I know it was hard for you, and by God, it was even harder for me. That's why I've been evading you for all these years, hoping that, in time, you would gradually erase me, a little insignificant fragment that once existed in your life. I've wanted you to just be happy - and now that I know you are, it's just about time for me to let the memories of you go.

Little blue bird, I'm finally ready to let you fly away.

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Adam Arshad said...

oh this is heartbreaking.
good luck aziz.

Aziz said...

I know. But I hope this is for the best. I can't go on much further :'(
I don't wanna live in delusion anymore.

Adam Arshad said...

oh u surely can do this!
i believe in you!
*haha corny!*

Aziz said...

Oh, hopefully this time is for real. Last time I tried, it lasted barely few seconds. LOL
You're made of metal, Aziz. Weep not!

Azie Nazri said...

Aziiizz, ahh you and your words. :)

I agree, this is so sweet yet heartbreaking. But then I too believe in letting go. After all, it is his/her happiness that would make us happy kan?
I bet there'll be someone better for ya out there. :)

Aziz said...

Azie, I wish you knew how much these words of yours mean to me! =)
Thank you. You actually make me feel better, they way you put it into perspective for me. Yup, we gotta believe that everything is written and God has something better in store for us =)