But Then Again

Hah!
I see you reading this!
It's just your unlucky day because it's kind of curse, you know!
And you've been cursed for reading this!
Uh-ho! Nope! There's no way out! The only way you can uncurse yourself is by buying this for me! Should you laugh at this and pretend like I'm talking cookie, blame me not for any misfortune that follows your back and your sloppy step! You've been warned, folks!

(Hopefully this is intimidating enough and I'll get a new tennis racket soon!)