6th February

Well, where do I start?

Oh, yeah. I am officially a year older today. 22? Ain't no biggie, huh? I thank God, for He has let me be healthy, blessed upon me an amazing family and wonderful, wonderful friends around me. It doesn't get better than this. And for this very reason, I am eternally grateful.

To be frank, I have never made such a big fuss over Birthdays. Well, at least not mine. I breathe every single day, I go through life and everything that comes along with it and -- and here I am. For me, every single day is worth celebrating, for you never know when it's gonna come to a halt. Not that I wish it would anytime soon :)

You know, when I was in kindergarten (around 6 years old?) and I saw those in primary years, I thought 'Wow. They are cool. They must know everything'. Then I reached there myself, just to figure out that being in primary years wasn't that cool after all. I was still dumb. Then I saw those in Secondary years and I thought 'My, my! Look at 'em! so young, hyped and happy! They must have learned a lot! Can't wait to be at their age myself!' - long story cut short: I was 15, 16 and 17, and I was as clueless as ever as what life was all about. I wished something to come this way, just to figure out that it had taken the other turn. Then I heard those who had been in University, then I thought to myself 'Wow! These people must be intelligent, great and cool all combined together! Surely they must know what lies ahead'.

Here I am. Still wondering what fate has in store for me. Some things go my way, most don't. Sometimes, I plan something with my whole heart on it, and still life will find a loophole in my so called well-scrutinized blueprint of life - and soon I will find the ground again, when I thought I was reaching for the sky. And now I'm thinking 'maybe those in their 60s. 70s know everything about life'. Or maybe those in deathbed.

So if being 22 has taught me anything at all, it would be the fact that nobody knows where life would bring us. I've always dreamed about owning mortgages, good career ahead and therefore my whole life has been directed towards accomplishing these. Little did I know that these things don't define happiness, nor they justify the worth of your age.

It's the little things around me that I have always taken for granted. When I talk to my parents, do I really listen to them? Do I look them straight in the eyes? Have I appreciated them enough, or have I let them know how much they mean to me? My sister and brothers? If I were to go die tomorrow, have I loved them enough?

Have I let go of my vengeance and learn to forgive and forget? Have I really seen what's around me? Or I just walking briskly through life, seeing nothing but my ambitious dream? Have I loved my friends enough, so that if I were to die tomorrow, it's my laughter, tears and presence that would stay and linger with them?

Some people stay with us for a very short time. Some people we know for less than a day, maybe just for a few seconds, but the memories of them remain and survive through the test of time. Some people live like forever, but they are quickly forgotten the next day after they have gone.

And while writing this, I have received the most beautiful gift for my birthday this year - the realization that age is just a numeric indication of either won or wasted time.

Happy Birthday, Aziz :)

You may also like

No comments: